Hello and welcome for this new #ReadersMail. Today we will concentrate on the practice. Sexuality is about relationships, communication, emotions, but it’s also a little bit about technique.
How to please my partner with a cunnilingus?
How to make her come at the moment of the penetration? ”
“How to make her come at the moment of the penetration?”, Here is a vast question! First, let’s do not perceive sexual intercourse as just a simple penetration. Making love / having sex, is much more than that. It’s about kissing, looking, feeling, caressing, tasting each other, before/ during the penetration, and also after the ejaculation. The secret is to awaken your partner’s body so that her pleasure can increase. Be present, be focused on her and not on what you need to do. There’s no “turnkey sexuality” as I said in a previous article. On the other hand you can apply some tips to “prepare the ground” in order to intensify her pleasure and excitement. In order to ensure this, you’re right, the practice of cunnilingus has a nice key role to play.
THE CUNNILINGUS, A DELICATE PRACTICE
It’s always a little complicated to explain a practice only by words, but I still won’t advise you to watch porn to educate yourself. In adult videos cunnilingus is often neglected and not necessarily practiced in the best way.
Performing a cunnilingus is an act that requires patience, attention, and delicacy.
…And when it’s done properly, it’s not really spectacular, it’s something very subtle and most all, based on the feeling and chemistry: it’s essential that you’re receptive to the behavior of your partner, how her muscles react , her way of breathing, etc … As a kiss, the key is to go there gradually, to start slowly and to be more passionate while the tension is going up.
ERRORS NOT TO BE MADE
As for the practical aspect I would say there are things to absolutely avoid.
- First of all, never force your partner. If she’s embarrassed because not used to this practice, or too modest and uncomfortable with her body, you can reassure her and tell her how much you like it, that she can trust you, that it’s another way for you to enjoy her and that most of all, you’re there to give her pleasure. If she’s really against it, don’t insist. Focus on her clitoris and the lips, not the entrance of the vagina. Your tongue is not there to replace your penis, its role is to stimulate all small sensitive areas. A good cunnilingus makes your partner want to get penetrated but this penetration is not essential to make her come. This is why the intervention of the fingers also happens in the second step.
- Be sure to have a smooth skin … or to have a soft beard, but not a badly shaved face! The mucous membranes of feminine intimacy are extremely sensitive. If you irritate them it’s over.
- Avoid the sound of suction, you’re not sucking a bowl of noodles !
- Avoid spitting. Well yes, you can see it in porn movies, it can be exciting while having « wild sex » but for now let’s stay in the basics! This « not very gentleman » behavior can be a very good « turn off ».. Same thing for slapping on her private parts with the palm of your hand, go with gentleness but don’t put too much energy in it. Imagine that she does the same thing on your testicles! Open her thighs without making her make a frontal split, be delicate. If you force her legs, they’ll be too tense and it will prevent her from being relaxed and feeling pleasure.
THE CHOICE OF POSITION
As for the positions, you have different options:
- she can be standing, arching her back, or in doggy style position and you behind on your knees.( which can also be the opportunity to play with your tongue until the birth of her buttocks).
- She can be seated on top of your face (which is very practical for her as she can thus control the back and forth, and dispose of your mouth in order to get the best sensations).
- She can also be lying on the back, which is probably the simplest option since she can totally let go. And yes, letting go is essential for a woman. It’s not about being passive, but to be able to relax to be more receptive; to be able to let go and think of her own pleasure.
THE TECHNIQUES OF PLEASURE
- Do not hesitate to look her in the eyes; talk to her, take your time. After sitting her on the bed or an armchair for example, sit in front of her, kiss her feet, her ankles, her knees, go up to reach the inside of the thighs, and gently, while putting your hands on her hips or at the arch of her back, start kissing the whole periphery of her private parts, her lips, until your lips access her clitoris. Push her desire to its paroxysm. The pleasure must be physical as well as cerebral.
- Make some rotations movements with your tongue. Warning! the clitoris is very sensitive, it’s not necessary to move the skin which covers the top, and to make rotational movements with some pressure carried around and above are sufficient. Be light at first (but not too much, it can tickle!) Then accelerate very gradually and increase the pressure with the tip of your tongue. Be careful, to be fast doesn’t mean to be frenetic. Your partner doesn’t expect a show from you, she just wants you to be passionate.
- Invite her to guide you, to tell you what she wants: faster? More to the right? Every exchange can become erotic, everything is a stimulus, an exciting reason to play. Her thighs become tense ? her hands clench on your shoulders or your hair? her breathing increases its speed, her whole body tightens? Congratulations, these are signs that suggest the arrival of an orgasm. ” Don’t stop! Keep going, more! Your jaw begins to feel a cramp but you shouldn’t slow down! Don’t change the mode of operation, if she tells you that it’s feeling good, it means there’s nothing to change.
- If she didn’t say or show anything specific to you, it’s time to move on to the next step, to insert a first finger while remaining active with your tongue. Keep in mind that the goal is not to go as deep as possible. Bend your finger (the top pointing upwards), stay inserted and make small back and forth movements while keeping a pressure against her vagina wall. You’re on the way to reach the G spot and believe me, if you manage to find the right rhythm, she will lose her mind in the best way! Again, be attentive, she’s the one who will show you what will please her. Her whole body also speaks for herself: her vagina is very wet, relaxed, you can now insert a second finger, accentuate the back and forth movements, and alternate between your mouth and your hand.
Finally, if Madame doesn’t show any enthusiasm, don’t panic! Ask her how to meet her expectations. She may also be not very comfortable with her body or with this type of practice . In this case you can’t do much about it. She has to explore her sexuality also by herself, to be connected with her own body, to have the desire … to have desire. Your role is to accompany her in this quest for pleasure and vice versa. As long as you are in a dynamic of sharing (feelings involved or not), you will both win!
Talking about pleasure is good but it’s also important to mention the risks associated with sexual practices. It’s not about turning you off or about convincing you to not practice (far from me it!) But you must know that the sexual preliminaries carry some risks of transmission of STDs. Here, for example: herpes, hepatitis B, and bacterial infections such as gonococci, syphilis, gonorrhea and papillomavirus.
Therefore don’t hesitate to make some complete medical tests with your partner in order to live a happy sexuality without anxiety or bad surprises, and be aware there are female condoms providing maximum protection.