To watch violent “hardcore” videos, is it wrong?

Each week I invite you to answer your questions. As I have already specified I’m neither a psychologist nor a sexologist, but I hope to bring you some answers by using my own experience … If you want to contact me for this section #Sexo #TheFanMail, please  post your questions HERE!


“Dear Celine,

First I would like to thank you for this blog. Your writings are very sensitive and your point of view, both of woman and actress, is very interesting.

I wanted to solicit your opinion on an aspect of my personality of which I am ashamed. I started watching porn at a very young age, at 11 years old. I am now 23 years old and I have never really stopped. Only, I realize that I am always looking for some videos which are more and more hardcore, humiliating, dirty, without ever wanting to concretize these fantasies in my sexual life as a couple (soft submission fills me perfectly). This is something very difficult to admit for a woman in our present society. I have no problem with watching porn, it’s rather being excited by hardcore and violent movies that bothers me.

Have you ever met people in my case?

Thank you so much for your consideration and excellent continuation. “


Hello Aline

Thank you for your message. This first question is very interesting to me because in my opinion it affects many people. The notion of guilt comes up regularly when talking about porn and sexuality in general. What is ”normal”? Does one must consider as adult videos as a reflection of the reality? Is it a kind of model or an ideal to reach? Or is it more a kind of deviation? I’d say it’s all at once and to a certain degree.

First, X-rated movies are extremely deversified and not only “trash” (the very definition of what is “trash”/ very hardcore evolves according to the mores of a society), but it’s often what we only remember from porn; on the other hand the content which is more “soft” or of “high-quality” is rarely on the tube websites with free content and therefore less broadcasted.

As far as you are concerned Aline, you have no problem admitting that you’re attracted to hardcore/violent videos simply because it turns you on. Why does it turn you on? There are things quite difficult to understand. Something that we will usually find repugnant or laughable will suddenly become exciting once we are in a “masturbation mode”; at this moment our instinct and our unconscious speak. Our excitement will react according to different stimuli: images, situations, words, accessories … There is a variety of fetishes for example.

By definition, pornography represents what is “obscene,” it is the conversion in pictures of transgression, of what is disturbing, what challenges taboos. So it’s not just a matter of nudity. Just like cinema in general and I will say horror movies (which is probably the genre that has the most affinities with X-rated movies), porn has a cathartic function. By looking at the pleasure or pain of others, by attending extreme situations we free ourselves from some of our frustrations. There is nothing “wrong” in there as long as we do not fall into addiction or complacency. To resume, it’s a matter of balance and discernment.

Our “human nature” encourages us to push our limits, to be curious, to explore. Once we are used to a type of images it’s possible to get a little bit bored and to no longer find excitement. It’s the novelty, the strangeness sometimes that will make us react. That’s the reason why what is beautiful is not necessarily what is most exciting. It’s therefore not surprising that in adult videos there are different “cycles”. When I started my career in the adult industry, the  market was still dominated by a representation of the woman wearing a nurse or a secretary outfit, with fine lingerie, a garter-belt and stockings, then “gonzo”emerged and quickly moved towards the apology of performance , containing clearly a form of violence and the domination of the other. This domination was also reversed with scenes where the men was the one to be punished by their female partner; A few years later I attended a return to soft porn, even “romantic” with an emphasis on preliminaries, on the representation of the sexuality for couples laying in a bed with “classic” underwear ( and not in vinyl nor fluorescent pink fishnet), with wide shots rather than “gynecological” close-ups.

Going back to your question I think your behavior is natural and not alarming at all. Your little guilt is actually a positive sign. Your consciousness makes the difference between fiction that turns you on, and real life. You also know that these videos are forms of “deviance”, they are practiced by willing actors whose job is to have this type of sexuality.

(Obviously the question is more delicate if you tell me you enjoy watching videos where people are raped or abused for real. Then, you’re no longer in a fiction or a fantasy but in passive participation of an act of cruelty.)

At last but not least you say yourself to live a fulfilled sexuality; therefore your consumption of adult videos doesn’t encroach on your sexual life, it completes it. Everything is fine! The only advice I can give you is: eventually, sometimes make a break so you don’t fall into addiction. For example, take the test for a few months to masturbate without using any porn movies in order to nourish your own libido, to use your imagination,  and to also feed it with the complicity of your partner.

I want to add that I would have given exactly the same answer if the question had been asked by a man. Equality must be also practiced here in my opinion, in the fact that we all have the right to have our own intimate space, our desires, our fantasies and to flourish sexually, in our life as a couple and individually. Why should a woman blush to watch porn? Why should she feel guilty about seeing other women being sexually dominated? Watching porn also allows an identification process. Looking at someone else having sex creates a form of pleasure by the vision it provides but also with the sensations one can imagine. A woman can therefore experience pleasure in seeing another woman having sex with several male partners. The right to enjoy and nourish one’s own libido is not an exclusive right for men …

I hope my answer has been helpful! Do not hesitate to ask new questions!

Celine

"On a plusieurs vies dans une vie."

Comments (3)

  1. Aline and Celine,
    I do not think this is totally Porn related. What was written about Porn can be replaced with horror movies. There is so much more bold and violence in any Friday the 13th movies than Porn.
    Celine, I like your response to keep fantasy and reality separate.
    Take care and Happy New Year to all.

  2. I think pornography is so important for a healthy society – an open and accepting one with free thinking and attitudes. I feel sorry when pornography is blamed for problems because I think pornography actually means less problems for society. And I feel sorry if performers experience problems because of their association with it

    I don’t know about the existence of “porn addiction” although I guess some people can feel “addicted” to anything

    I watch porn for the fantasy. As per you Aline I have no interest to actually do it in my personal life! Personally I love watching the more hardcore scenes involving a girl with multiple partners. Fortunately Celine has done a number of brilliant scenes like this that I still watch often – thankyou!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *