My audition at an acting studio in Paris

September 25th 2016

Let me share with you this little story…
Today I went to an audition in an acting school in Paris in order to confront myself to the appreciation of a jury and hopefuly win the prize of the competition: a intensive stage of acting in London….

When the jury (a male teacher in his 50’s) asks about my experience in front of camera, I mention my years in the adult industry and add my recent roles in mainstream TV shows, feature movies..

He kindly tells me :” You shouldn’t mention that..Your past in porn. I mean, I don’t care, but some people can be stupid, they’ll have right away a bad opinion of you just because you said that.
– Sir, you’re asking, I answer. It’s just a part of my experience.
– Of course but… you see, maybe if it was with famous directors it would be different.
– Well, I worked with Gaspar Noe.
– Nice! yes, you see, it’s different when it’s with someone famous, a recognized director.
– I understand. It’s not about nudity and sex but about the message and the intention behind it… the “artistic” vision. But don’t you think that the cinema industry produces a lot of industrial content as well?
– Sure..I’m just telling you this so you won’t expose yourself to bad comments next time.”

I understand his point of view and I was very glad he gave me some advices. It’s useful to be aware of “the rules” when you want to play the game in a certain field. It’s not so much about what is fair or not but more about : how to adapt itself, be successful and still be honest.
But you know what? The next time someone will ask about my past, I will probably not change my answer. Yes, some people can be stupid and hold prejudices about adult performers, and guess what, I myself can behave this way. I can also have some prejudices towards some people, even if I try to be open minded. But don’t you think that the best way to change a mind is to face the reality, and not the ghost of a fake fantasy?

It is the silence that creates the taboo, and the taboo that creates shame.

Many people judge porn performers because they only see a “category” of people, not individuals with different paths.Fear and silence are what maintain stereotypes and prejudices.

I was probably not the best actress today at this audition. But I’m glad I could actually say : Look I’ve used my body to express myself until now. Now I’m adding my VOICE.

"On a plusieurs vies dans une vie."

Comments (5)

  1. At last u said u r probably not the best actress today at this audition. But in my mind, u r already the best. No matter ur name is “katsuni” or Celine, I will support u forever. Some people may Judge one person by one’s past, but I believe that ur action will be the best answer. By the way, in my mind,girls in adult industry are all nice and friendly. U are much greater than people who prejudice this industry

  2. We are who we are and should be blatantly proud of whatever our experiences are, that brought us to this place inappropriately called NOW!

    You are an artist, a free spirit and are unbounded by idiots!

    You have done more to artisticly express aspects of the human condition then will ever be presented in mainstream cinema!

    You have done things that extend to a part of the human psyche too few dare explore.

    To look down upon this is ignorant, foolish and reminiscent of the Taliban!

    I salute you as the truly inspirational artist that you are and your journey as a human being!

  3. I think porn is becoming much more accepted and a number of porn performers have appeared in mainstream film and television shows. Sometimes it even creates more interest. If anyone has a problem with it you may not want to work with them anyway. From all your scenes I always thought you were an amazing actress as well as performer and so beautiful and classy

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